I’ve become aware, lately, that my verbal offerings, comments and responses, while visiting with others in small gatherings of family and friends, elicit responses I had no intention of eliciting; it appears that what I say is often interpreted in vastly different ways than intended. And this, even though I’m careful these days to withhold or at least moderate strong personal opinions.
When I was younger, I held small regard for countering someone’s opinion, relished, in fact, the opposition. But I don’t feel that way anymore. I hold back these days. But now It would appear that sometimes concessions are expected, admission of guilt, a desire for me to reveal my inadequacies, personal weaknesses: concessions I’m not willing to give. The whole idea of such a scenario I find extremely winceable, beyond my capacity to the point of exasperation.
If one is to maintain a sense of pride in achievement, a sense of worth, restraint must be exercised, emotions withheld; an acceptance of the potential volatility of personal relationships, a willingness to let go.
It all becomes exitential in the end, I guess.
